A lot of people have contacted me about my posts on "The Little Things" so I thought I'd write a bit more about that. I think that one of the biggest ways to make the little things count is to be intentional. By that, I mean act with purpose.
Until somewhat recently, I was always someone who was very goal-oriented and focused on "the next step." I went to one of the best high schools in the country (#28 on this list), graduated from Cal (#21 on this list) with a double major and minor in three years, and and got into several Top 10 schools in my field for grad school. I graduated near the top of my class in grad school, got a good job doing something meaningful (I worked at a non-profit that designs and develops green affordable housing), and managed to play for teams that attended College Nationals (x2), Club Nationals (x3), and Worlds along the way.
Being driven and having life direction were never a problem for me. And I say that with absolutely zero pride because all of these "accomplishments" mean very little to me, especially given where I am now. But I give you this bit of life background so that you have some context for what drives me.
Dropping out of college for two years (a story for another day) helped me gain a bit of life perspective, but Club Nationals 2009 was the real wake up call for me. My mom called me the night before our Quarterfinals game against Brute Squad with some serious health news. When you get a call like that, suddenly nothing else matters.
A year later, I quit my job in Austin and moved to Boulder. A few months ago, I packed up all of my belongings, drove across the country to store them in a friend's garage, and then hit the road, unsure of where life would lead me. Many people have asked me what I'm doing with my life. And for perhaps the first time ever, I honestly don't know.
I am far from having a master plan for life, but I know that I want to love people and give freely to them. And I know myself well enough to know that I can't be the teammate, leader, friend, or person I want to be by chance. Being on the road, away from my family and friends, for the past few months means that taking steps toward becoming the person I want to be requires considerable effort. I've realized that when I get busy or stressed, I can have the best of intentions, but my focus always shifts to the urgent instead of the important. This is where being intentional comes in- it's a way of refocusing.
To be a bit more concrete and tie it back to frisbee, my last season as a college captain, I wanted all of my players to feel loved and supported. As with most teams, there was a handful of players I was very close to, and then an entire other group with whom I had very little in common.
From my written list of goals for that season:
1. Be a good teammate and captain- know what my teammates need from me and help them grow as players and people both on and off the field.
Over the course of a season, it's so easy to get caught up in the wins and losses, countless workouts, and practice and travel planning. So in order to accomplish this goal, I knew I had to be intentional with the little things.
I committed myself to doing the following:
1. Writing each of my teammates a monthly email checking in and telling them at least one thing I valued about them as a teammate.
2. Hanging out with each of them, on their terms, at least once during the season.
I wrote previously about how over-focused I was on the team goal of qualifying for Nationals. Writing those emails to my teammates and hanging out with them on their terms were a bit of a check for myself, a reminder to me that it's the people, not the goal or the end result, that matter.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou
If you know what you want to accomplish, then take the first step. Be intentional with the little things.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
The Privilege and Responsibility of Being a College Captain
This season, I've had the privilege of serving as a sounding board for a number of college captains. (I say privilege because I don't take their trust lightly, and listening to their struggles also means that I get to see their victories.) I definitely don't have magical solutions for them, but I'm always happy to give them an outside perspective, help them frame their situations positively, as well as just listen, because often, all they need is someone to talk to.
All of these conversations have caused me to reflect quite a bit on my own captaining experiences. I've captained two college teams (Cal and Texas) and two club teams (Slackjaw and Showdown), for a total of five seasons. In high school, I captained the boys' varsity baseball team, so the transition to captaining a team of women was quite a challenge. Who knew that so many feelings could be involved?
I have learned a lot captaining over the years. I have had the privilege of captaining a team at Worlds, have led teams to both College and Club Nationals, and have lost heartbreaking games to go. I will be the first to admit that I've learned so much because I have made many, many mistakes. One of my deepest regrets in this sport was being an absolute taskmaster when I captained Texas. I was so focused on our team goal of qualifying for Nationals that I lost sight of a lot of important things along the way. While ultimately we achieved our goal of qualifying for Nationals that year, if I could go back in time, there are a lot of things I would change about the way I led that team.
When I talk to struggling college captains, I try to broaden their perspective a bit. One of the things I've learned over the years is that you can spend an infinite amount of time trying to address your team's problems. No amount of stressing about people's behavior, setting team expectations for attendance and attitude, or engaging in one-one-on meetings with difficult players will be enough. While it's important to spend time addressing your team's problems, I believe strongly that you must also invest time and energy into cultivating positivity. Spend time on the teammates who are focused and engaged. Grow their love for the team and the sport, and don't lose sight of these people by overfocusing on the negatives.
I believe that the role of a college captain is so much bigger than about just teaching a bunch of people how to play ultimate. A college team is a family away from home during some of the most formative years in a person's life, and a captain shapes this entire experience. A huge part of being a good college captain is investing time, energy, and love into your teammates. If your teammates know that you'll do anything for them, that will go a long way. Be the first one to practice, the last one to leave, and the person who will always make time for them.
I have two college rookies still playing college ultimate. I ran Women's College Centex with one of them, a second-year Texas captain and Showdown player, two weeks ago. I saw the other one at Keystone Classic last week-- she is playing her fifth year as a grad student at Cornell. A third former rookie is on the Showdown core this year and works a FT job in Austin. Another one of my rookies just graduated from Air Force Basic Training last month. And my last rookie graduates from National Guard Basic Training tomorrow. I am extremely proud of their accomplishments on the field, which includes trips to both College and Club Nationals and All-Region accolades. But more than that, I am proud of what they have accomplished off the field-- that is my legacy.
This group of rookies had spunk to say the least. When I asked them to pick up cones after practice, they'd refuse until I invented cone races and made it into a game for them. They'd show up on my doorstep unexpectedly, friended my little brothers on Facebook, and would do things to aggravate me like wearing a glove while playing. Despite the many mistakes I made that year as a captain, the one thing I am proud of is the amount of love I poured into that group of rookies. I cooked them dinner, let them study on the floor of my room, wrote them encouraging emails on a regular basis, and even after I graduated, we'd meet for a weekly Bible study. I even went so far as to accompany one of them to an appointment with an academic counselor to ensure that she could stay enrolled in school.
Captaining is a huge privilege, as well as a huge responsibility. With the season winding down, what can you do to make a difference in the lives of your teammates?
All of these conversations have caused me to reflect quite a bit on my own captaining experiences. I've captained two college teams (Cal and Texas) and two club teams (Slackjaw and Showdown), for a total of five seasons. In high school, I captained the boys' varsity baseball team, so the transition to captaining a team of women was quite a challenge. Who knew that so many feelings could be involved?
I have learned a lot captaining over the years. I have had the privilege of captaining a team at Worlds, have led teams to both College and Club Nationals, and have lost heartbreaking games to go. I will be the first to admit that I've learned so much because I have made many, many mistakes. One of my deepest regrets in this sport was being an absolute taskmaster when I captained Texas. I was so focused on our team goal of qualifying for Nationals that I lost sight of a lot of important things along the way. While ultimately we achieved our goal of qualifying for Nationals that year, if I could go back in time, there are a lot of things I would change about the way I led that team.
When I talk to struggling college captains, I try to broaden their perspective a bit. One of the things I've learned over the years is that you can spend an infinite amount of time trying to address your team's problems. No amount of stressing about people's behavior, setting team expectations for attendance and attitude, or engaging in one-one-on meetings with difficult players will be enough. While it's important to spend time addressing your team's problems, I believe strongly that you must also invest time and energy into cultivating positivity. Spend time on the teammates who are focused and engaged. Grow their love for the team and the sport, and don't lose sight of these people by overfocusing on the negatives.
I believe that the role of a college captain is so much bigger than about just teaching a bunch of people how to play ultimate. A college team is a family away from home during some of the most formative years in a person's life, and a captain shapes this entire experience. A huge part of being a good college captain is investing time, energy, and love into your teammates. If your teammates know that you'll do anything for them, that will go a long way. Be the first one to practice, the last one to leave, and the person who will always make time for them.
I have two college rookies still playing college ultimate. I ran Women's College Centex with one of them, a second-year Texas captain and Showdown player, two weeks ago. I saw the other one at Keystone Classic last week-- she is playing her fifth year as a grad student at Cornell. A third former rookie is on the Showdown core this year and works a FT job in Austin. Another one of my rookies just graduated from Air Force Basic Training last month. And my last rookie graduates from National Guard Basic Training tomorrow. I am extremely proud of their accomplishments on the field, which includes trips to both College and Club Nationals and All-Region accolades. But more than that, I am proud of what they have accomplished off the field-- that is my legacy.
This group of rookies had spunk to say the least. When I asked them to pick up cones after practice, they'd refuse until I invented cone races and made it into a game for them. They'd show up on my doorstep unexpectedly, friended my little brothers on Facebook, and would do things to aggravate me like wearing a glove while playing. Despite the many mistakes I made that year as a captain, the one thing I am proud of is the amount of love I poured into that group of rookies. I cooked them dinner, let them study on the floor of my room, wrote them encouraging emails on a regular basis, and even after I graduated, we'd meet for a weekly Bible study. I even went so far as to accompany one of them to an appointment with an academic counselor to ensure that she could stay enrolled in school.
Captaining is a huge privilege, as well as a huge responsibility. With the season winding down, what can you do to make a difference in the lives of your teammates?
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
College Season Highlights and Lowlights
I have been on the road since Thanksgiving and am coming off a stretch of running 5 tournaments in 5 weeks and 7 tournaments and 8 clinics in the past 11 weeks. It's been a pretty ridiculous few months.
I thought I'd recap some of the highlights and lowlights of the season before I head to Canada for the next month or so...
LOWLIGHTS- I've omitted names so as to not embarrass people / teams. Some of these lowlights are funny, and hopefully the rest will be funny in a few years. :)
- Walking out fields at Midwest Throwdown. Wind had blown all of the Portapotties over and I was wildly underdressed (as usual) and was freezing. After walking out the fields, the other organizers and I gathered in the heated bathroom and vowed to never run the tournament again.
- A college player I had never met telling me that I was responsible for the worst birthday of her adult life at Midwest Throwdown. The weather was pretty miserable and I hope I have redeemed myself since then, but yikes! :(
- A college player putting a dead bird in my messenger bag at Midwest Throwdown.
- Nashville field crisis. 3 weeks before the event, when I was re-confirming the total price to send a check, the Field Manager said that the price was not just the price per hour as stated in the signed contract, but the price per hour per field. This caused the field price to skyrocket. A migraine ensued.
LOWLIGHTS- I've omitted names so as to not embarrass people / teams. Some of these lowlights are funny, and hopefully the rest will be funny in a few years. :)
- Walking out fields at Midwest Throwdown. Wind had blown all of the Portapotties over and I was wildly underdressed (as usual) and was freezing. After walking out the fields, the other organizers and I gathered in the heated bathroom and vowed to never run the tournament again.
- A college player I had never met telling me that I was responsible for the worst birthday of her adult life at Midwest Throwdown. The weather was pretty miserable and I hope I have redeemed myself since then, but yikes! :(
- A college player putting a dead bird in my messenger bag at Midwest Throwdown.
- Nashville field crisis. 3 weeks before the event, when I was re-confirming the total price to send a check, the Field Manager said that the price was not just the price per hour as stated in the signed contract, but the price per hour per field. This caused the field price to skyrocket. A migraine ensued.
- A team and guest coach dropping out the week of Virginia is for Layouts. The result was chaos and a very tired planning team.
- A team not showing up for their first game at Virginia is for Layouts because they thought the tournament was in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
- Having to get a credit card sent to my parents' address and having my mother mail the credit card to a college player to bring to me at a tournament. Pretty embarrassing.
- Sleeping in a van at the fields at Keystone Classic to prevent our gallons of water from getting stolen.
- Losing the Keystone Classic fields 12 hours before Sunday play without inclement weather or any advance warning... and then the next 24 hours that ensued.
- Having to get a credit card sent to my parents' address and having my mother mail the credit card to a college player to bring to me at a tournament. Pretty embarrassing.
- Sleeping in a van at the fields at Keystone Classic to prevent our gallons of water from getting stolen.
- Losing the Keystone Classic fields 12 hours before Sunday play without inclement weather or any advance warning... and then the next 24 hours that ensued.
- Seeing personal criticisms of me posted in public places. I'm all about taking people's feedback to heart and constantly trying to improve, but at the end of the day, I'm just a normal person with feelings... and a pretty sensitive person at that.
- Seeing my "roommates" more at tournaments than at their house. And by roommates, I mean the people who own the house and garage where my stuff is stored.
- My family and closest friends having close to zero idea where I am 95% of the time. Being homeless is a pretty taxing experience.
- The way my brain feels right now: dead.
- Seeing my "roommates" more at tournaments than at their house. And by roommates, I mean the people who own the house and garage where my stuff is stored.
- My family and closest friends having close to zero idea where I am 95% of the time. Being homeless is a pretty taxing experience.
- The way my brain feels right now: dead.
HIGHLIGHTS- The stuff that makes it all worth it!
- Getting to know Danielle Schrimmer, Kayla Emrick, and Margaret Rosano (Oberlin). My friendship with these girls started in a small coffee shop in Grinnell, IA in January-- had Danielle not emailed me to set up that meeting, I never would have gotten to know them. It's the little things.
- Breanna Stein (Vanderbilt) saving the day by securing fields for Music City Mash-Up. It turns out that Bre is the little sister of one of my former club teammates, a connection we didn't make until the crisis arose.
- Getting to run a tournament with the last of my college rookies.
- The players who trust me and give me a window into their lives. These relationships impact me in a huge way and have reminded me that the most important part about my work is not the events. It's about the relationships and the opportunity to make a difference for people.
- Working with people like Adriana Withers and Steve Meyer who are among the biggest supporters of my work.
- Breanna Stein (Vanderbilt) saving the day by securing fields for Music City Mash-Up. It turns out that Bre is the little sister of one of my former club teammates, a connection we didn't make until the crisis arose.
- Getting to run a tournament with the last of my college rookies.
- The players who trust me and give me a window into their lives. These relationships impact me in a huge way and have reminded me that the most important part about my work is not the events. It's about the relationships and the opportunity to make a difference for people.
- Working with people like Adriana Withers and Steve Meyer who are among the biggest supporters of my work.
- Friends across the country cooking me homemade meals and letting me do laundry.
- The incredible emails and conversations that have come out of Virginia is for Layouts. Realizing there is so much more work to be done.
- Carly Maconagy, Nichole Smith, Jana Barmasse, and Tracy Custis having a "whatever it takes" attitude when it came to Keystone Classic. I feel like our paths mostly cross in disastrous situations, but I am incredibly thankful to know people who are willing to go to such great lengths to help me.
- Anna Levine (Swarthmore) offering up two fields at Swarthmore for Sunday of Keystone, refusing to let me pay her team for them, and telling me "I read your blog. I know what you're about- pay it forward." First tears of the college season.
- Young alums from my partner teams (specifically from Texas and Wash U) who have done a ton of behind-the-scenes work for Without Limits this year. These players are the small bit of hope I have that my work might have a lasting impact.
- Players from various teams (Michigan, Texas, Georgia, and Central Florida to name a few) being more than willing to help me with random tasks at tournaments- filling water, walking out fields, picking up cones and trash, carrying tents, etc.
- The incredible emails and conversations that have come out of Virginia is for Layouts. Realizing there is so much more work to be done.
- Carly Maconagy, Nichole Smith, Jana Barmasse, and Tracy Custis having a "whatever it takes" attitude when it came to Keystone Classic. I feel like our paths mostly cross in disastrous situations, but I am incredibly thankful to know people who are willing to go to such great lengths to help me.
- Anna Levine (Swarthmore) offering up two fields at Swarthmore for Sunday of Keystone, refusing to let me pay her team for them, and telling me "I read your blog. I know what you're about- pay it forward." First tears of the college season.
- Young alums from my partner teams (specifically from Texas and Wash U) who have done a ton of behind-the-scenes work for Without Limits this year. These players are the small bit of hope I have that my work might have a lasting impact.
- Players from various teams (Michigan, Texas, Georgia, and Central Florida to name a few) being more than willing to help me with random tasks at tournaments- filling water, walking out fields, picking up cones and trash, carrying tents, etc.
- The positive interactions I had with the high school teams who attended my tournaments this year. The future is bright.
- The few friends I have who are fiercely loyal to me and who love me even when I am hard to love.
- My family for being so supportive of this ridiculous journey.
- The few college players who keep me on my toes, keep better tabs on me than many of my friends do, and who make me laugh with their ridiculous behavior.
- The copious amounts of Diet Coke that teams brought me to tournaments.
I'm sure there's a lot more I'm missing, but off to Canada I go...
Thank you for being part of the Without Limits spring season. Your support means the world to me.
- The few friends I have who are fiercely loyal to me and who love me even when I am hard to love.
- My family for being so supportive of this ridiculous journey.
- The few college players who keep me on my toes, keep better tabs on me than many of my friends do, and who make me laugh with their ridiculous behavior.
- The copious amounts of Diet Coke that teams brought me to tournaments.
I'm sure there's a lot more I'm missing, but off to Canada I go...
Thank you for being part of the Without Limits spring season. Your support means the world to me.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Keystone Classic De-Brief
Thank you to everyone who followed our event from home this weekend. We had quite an epic day and we wanted to give our fans and followers a quick rundown of some of the events of the weekend.
- Last weekend, another ultimate event was hosted at Classics Soccer Park. The Field Owner and Manager were out of town and did not keep an eye on the damage being done to the fields at the event. I knew that an event was being hosted at the park, but was hosting Women's College Centex in Austin and was not paying close attention to the conditions in Manheim. I accept full responsibility for that-- had I paid more attention to the weather, I would certainly have asked the Field Manager about possible damage.
- Last weekend, another ultimate event was hosted at Classics Soccer Park. The Field Owner and Manager were out of town and did not keep an eye on the damage being done to the fields at the event. I knew that an event was being hosted at the park, but was hosting Women's College Centex in Austin and was not paying close attention to the conditions in Manheim. I accept full responsibility for that-- had I paid more attention to the weather, I would certainly have asked the Field Manager about possible damage.
- In my pre-event conversations with the Field Manager last week, I was given ZERO notice about any damage or about the "fragile" condition of the fields. No mention was made about the possibility of us being kicked off the fields or any concerns about wear and tear. Having hosted multiple events at these fields before, looking at the forecast, I did not feel that we had any reason to worry.
- On Saturday morning, the Field Manager asked me to keep players on the perimeter of the soccer fields as much as possible (referring specifically to sideline traffic). I announced this at the captains' meeting.
- On Saturday afternoon, the Field Manager texted me to check in on the condition of the fields and I reported that they were in very good condition and that there were 1-2 "problem areas"-- areas that were clearly worn, but that would not have posed a problem at any other field site.
- On Saturday morning, the Field Manager asked me to keep players on the perimeter of the soccer fields as much as possible (referring specifically to sideline traffic). I announced this at the captains' meeting.
- On Saturday afternoon, the Field Manager texted me to check in on the condition of the fields and I reported that they were in very good condition and that there were 1-2 "problem areas"-- areas that were clearly worn, but that would not have posed a problem at any other field site.
- On Saturday evening, the Field Manager informed me that we could not use the fields on Sunday due to the damage from last weekend's event. I was completely blindsided by this as the fields were in very good condition. The Manager agreed that weather was a non-issue (the weather had not been bad and the forecast looked clear for the remainder of the weekend). I spent over an hour talking with the Field Manager and Field Owner and made a number of offers to attempt to secure the fields for Sunday, including offering to pay an extra $5000 in seed money to go toward re-seeding the fields-- my primary goal was to secure fields for teams to play on, no matter the cost.
- When it became apparent that no offer would be accepted, my team of organizers and I called as many local contacts as we could come up with including the Penn State Club Sports Director, PADA board members, and a number of local organizers.
Never in my dozens of events of organizing have I ever canceled a day of play. And that streak lives to see another day. I know that cancelation due to weather is inevitable in this line of work. However, I also believe in doing things the right way and in never resting until all leads have been run down and until all possible solutions have been explored. I want to be able to look my friends in the eye and tell them that I have done everything within my power to help them.
When I emailed and called teams last night to let them know that our fields had been pulled, I felt 99% sure that games would not be played today because all of our leads were falling through. After I wrote that email, I continued to run down other leads with the help of Carly Maconaghy. Several players came though in big ways- Kelly McGeehan (Franklin & Marshall), Anna Levine (Swarthmore), and Julie Singer (Haverford). Games today would not have happened without them.
The wee hours of the morning involved creating a new game schedule for today and walking out fields to ensure that we could guarantee every team a minimum of two games. Carly, Nichole Smith, Tracy Custis, Jana Barmasse, and Beth Holzhauer faithfully assisted with the entire process. A huge thanks goes out to them.
The sense of community and the amount of trust and respect in our meeting with teams this morning floored me. It was important to me to handle this situation the right way, and in addition to de-briefing teams on the situation, we also offered them a partial refund. The fact that we were able to play games with our fields getting pulled 12 hours before game time on Sunday with zero advance notice is easily one of the bigger miracles we've managed to pull off over the course of the past six years.
This tournament continues to present extreme challenges year after year, and some self-evaluation is certainly in order. We'll leave you with this humorous bit in the midst of our crisis solving last night:
Michelle: Am I doing something wrong to make these things happen? Or I am just the unluckiest person in the world?
Carly: You're just the unluckiest person in the world.
What a friend. :) We'll post some thoughts on the Without Limits spring season soon. First, time to recover a bit from the weekend. Thanks for your interest in our work-- we are deeply appreciative of your support!
Never in my dozens of events of organizing have I ever canceled a day of play. And that streak lives to see another day. I know that cancelation due to weather is inevitable in this line of work. However, I also believe in doing things the right way and in never resting until all leads have been run down and until all possible solutions have been explored. I want to be able to look my friends in the eye and tell them that I have done everything within my power to help them.
When I emailed and called teams last night to let them know that our fields had been pulled, I felt 99% sure that games would not be played today because all of our leads were falling through. After I wrote that email, I continued to run down other leads with the help of Carly Maconaghy. Several players came though in big ways- Kelly McGeehan (Franklin & Marshall), Anna Levine (Swarthmore), and Julie Singer (Haverford). Games today would not have happened without them.
The wee hours of the morning involved creating a new game schedule for today and walking out fields to ensure that we could guarantee every team a minimum of two games. Carly, Nichole Smith, Tracy Custis, Jana Barmasse, and Beth Holzhauer faithfully assisted with the entire process. A huge thanks goes out to them.
The sense of community and the amount of trust and respect in our meeting with teams this morning floored me. It was important to me to handle this situation the right way, and in addition to de-briefing teams on the situation, we also offered them a partial refund. The fact that we were able to play games with our fields getting pulled 12 hours before game time on Sunday with zero advance notice is easily one of the bigger miracles we've managed to pull off over the course of the past six years.
This tournament continues to present extreme challenges year after year, and some self-evaluation is certainly in order. We'll leave you with this humorous bit in the midst of our crisis solving last night:
Michelle: Am I doing something wrong to make these things happen? Or I am just the unluckiest person in the world?
Carly: You're just the unluckiest person in the world.
What a friend. :) We'll post some thoughts on the Without Limits spring season soon. First, time to recover a bit from the weekend. Thanks for your interest in our work-- we are deeply appreciative of your support!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
The Little Things (Part II)
People who know me well know that I love to tell stories. A lot of people have been asking me to post more regularly, and a number of people contacted me about yesterday's post, so I'll share two stories with you about why the little things matter.
Over the years, I've been extremely privileged to have a small window of insight into the lives of a number of college players. People come to me with problems ranging from personal playing issues to team problems to serious life crises. I am grateful for the opportunity to get to know these players on a deeper level than just TD-player, but I often feel overwhelmed by my inability to actually do anything to help them. I was commenting to one of my friends recently that sometimes I feel helpless because I honestly don't know how I can help these people. My friend responded, "You care. That's why they come to you, and them knowing that you care is enough." Huh.
Over the years, I've been extremely privileged to have a small window of insight into the lives of a number of college players. People come to me with problems ranging from personal playing issues to team problems to serious life crises. I am grateful for the opportunity to get to know these players on a deeper level than just TD-player, but I often feel overwhelmed by my inability to actually do anything to help them. I was commenting to one of my friends recently that sometimes I feel helpless because I honestly don't know how I can help these people. My friend responded, "You care. That's why they come to you, and them knowing that you care is enough." Huh.
Today I received a really wonderful and thoughtful email from a player whose team has come to something like eight of my tournaments over the course of the past three seasons. The team was a supporter of some of my early work in the Midwest, and is now one of the best teams in the nation. Two years ago, I had a conversation with one of their players on the sideline of a tournament and it was clear that she was having a very emotional weekend. While I consider her to be a friend now, I hardly knew her at the time, but texted her after the tournament to make sure she was ok.
Here is an excerpt from the email she wrote me today:
Here is an excerpt from the email she wrote me today:
"I can't really tell you how much that meant to me. It meant a lot that some stranger cared enough to go through the trouble (with a million other things and people on your mind) to send me that text. It reminded me that people are good and caring, even when they don't have any stake in the situation. I was nobody and you still cared enough to check on me. Thank you.
I have changed a lot since then, and so has my team. I have become a better person I hope. I think I have learned to care about people more and take time to invest in friendships more. A huge part of that is because I learned I could be a better friend and person by knowing you... I didn't know if I had ever told you how much I respect you, so I wanted to be sure you knew. I know this tournament season and really just last couple of years have been crazy for you, but the fact that you are able to keep pushing on, caring for people, sticking hard to your beliefs, and taking chances even when it isn't easy means a lot."
It's the little things.
It's the little things.
The second story is about something someone did for me eight years ago.
I was a rookie on the Cal B team and we were playing the Pie Queens at Sectionals. We were getting destroyed and I was guarding (well, attempting to guard) the Queens' Callahan nominee, Andrea "Chowdah" Jung. About halfway through the game, there was a particularly embarrassing point, during which I chased Chowdah around the field, trailing her by about 10 yards at all times. She broke me for the score, and I turned to walk to the sidelines, feeling dejected. The next part I remember vividly. Chowdah stopped me, shook my hand, and said "Keep playing. You're going to be really good someday." It took her about 10 seconds of effort, but that moment has stuck with me over many, many years, and is a huge reason why I keep pushing myself so hard as a player. I want to improve because I want to make her proud. As a leader on the A team and as one of the best players in the country, she had little reason to talk to me. But she made the effort anyway.
A few years ago, we were playing each other at a club tournament, and I got a layout D on her teammate on an O2 cut. After that point, I walked over to the sidelines and Chowdah just looked at me and said, "See, I told you."
I was a rookie on the Cal B team and we were playing the Pie Queens at Sectionals. We were getting destroyed and I was guarding (well, attempting to guard) the Queens' Callahan nominee, Andrea "Chowdah" Jung. About halfway through the game, there was a particularly embarrassing point, during which I chased Chowdah around the field, trailing her by about 10 yards at all times. She broke me for the score, and I turned to walk to the sidelines, feeling dejected. The next part I remember vividly. Chowdah stopped me, shook my hand, and said "Keep playing. You're going to be really good someday." It took her about 10 seconds of effort, but that moment has stuck with me over many, many years, and is a huge reason why I keep pushing myself so hard as a player. I want to improve because I want to make her proud. As a leader on the A team and as one of the best players in the country, she had little reason to talk to me. But she made the effort anyway.
A few years ago, we were playing each other at a club tournament, and I got a layout D on her teammate on an O2 cut. After that point, I walked over to the sidelines and Chowdah just looked at me and said, "See, I told you."
It's the little things.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
The Little Things
I'm headed into my 7th event of the season, my 5th of five in a row. I've basically been on the road since Thanksgiving, most of my stuff is in a friend's garage, and the rest of my worldly possessions are in my car. Those who know me on a personal level know that this is not how I roll AT ALL. I have a graduate degree in Planning, and nothing in my life is planned right now. I'm not even sure where I'm sleeping tomorrow night.
But in the midst of a time of insanity and uncertainty, I've tried to remind myself that...
It's the little things.
In previous posts, I've talked about why I (should) care and about community and the power of positivity. While life has certainly not been what I've expected it to be lately, I also realize that there will never be another time in my life where I have the opportunity to interact with so many different people. It's a huge opportunity to make a difference, and I'm determined to take advantage of that opportunity.
But how do I even go about making a difference? I don't have the resources to change the world, or even change our sport. But... what if I can change one person's ultimate experience or one person's world? That makes it seem a lot more manageable, though it's still quite vague. I've been trying to distill that down to my interactions with people. Can I have a big impact if I just make an effort in my daily interactions with people? Will all of those little interactions sum into something bigger than I can imagine? I hope so.
Here are a few interactions I had with people at Women's College Centex this past weekend that impacted ME in a positive way:
- One of my project teams (See #4 in my previous post) showed up at the fields to hang out Friday afternoon. They came over to say hi and asked a dangerous question, "Is there anything we can do to help?" They then faithfully walked out fields and marked cone locations for me for the next hour. While several teams this season have been more than willing to help me when needed (Michigan, Texas, and Vanderbilt to name a few), I have almost no relationship with this team, so their small act of kindness meant a lot to me.
- On Sunday, in response to me doing a small favor for a college captain I barely know, the player texted me, "I'll pay it forward. :)" This player has already impressed me with her positivity this season, and it made me smile to know that this player, at least, understands my life philosophy.
- At the end of a long, tiring weekend, I was uploading another batch of scores to Score Reporter. I looked up from my computer and saw a coach, who had played on a rival college team of mine, approaching me. After I answered her question about a consolation game, she thanked me for my role in building Women's College Centex over the past five years. She acknowledged that very few current players have the perspective to know what the event was like before 2009, and we talked for a few minutes about the community we're a part of, and how committed leaders can make a huge difference. I appreciated her taking a few minutes to let me know the impact I have had on her ultimate experience. Sometimes (often), I lose perspective on what I'm trying to do.
Five more days until the end of the Without Limits college season. What kind of difference can I make? What kind of difference can YOU make?
It's the little things.
But in the midst of a time of insanity and uncertainty, I've tried to remind myself that...
It's the little things.
In previous posts, I've talked about why I (should) care and about community and the power of positivity. While life has certainly not been what I've expected it to be lately, I also realize that there will never be another time in my life where I have the opportunity to interact with so many different people. It's a huge opportunity to make a difference, and I'm determined to take advantage of that opportunity.
But how do I even go about making a difference? I don't have the resources to change the world, or even change our sport. But... what if I can change one person's ultimate experience or one person's world? That makes it seem a lot more manageable, though it's still quite vague. I've been trying to distill that down to my interactions with people. Can I have a big impact if I just make an effort in my daily interactions with people? Will all of those little interactions sum into something bigger than I can imagine? I hope so.
Here are a few interactions I had with people at Women's College Centex this past weekend that impacted ME in a positive way:
- One of my project teams (See #4 in my previous post) showed up at the fields to hang out Friday afternoon. They came over to say hi and asked a dangerous question, "Is there anything we can do to help?" They then faithfully walked out fields and marked cone locations for me for the next hour. While several teams this season have been more than willing to help me when needed (Michigan, Texas, and Vanderbilt to name a few), I have almost no relationship with this team, so their small act of kindness meant a lot to me.
- On Sunday, in response to me doing a small favor for a college captain I barely know, the player texted me, "I'll pay it forward. :)" This player has already impressed me with her positivity this season, and it made me smile to know that this player, at least, understands my life philosophy.
- At the end of a long, tiring weekend, I was uploading another batch of scores to Score Reporter. I looked up from my computer and saw a coach, who had played on a rival college team of mine, approaching me. After I answered her question about a consolation game, she thanked me for my role in building Women's College Centex over the past five years. She acknowledged that very few current players have the perspective to know what the event was like before 2009, and we talked for a few minutes about the community we're a part of, and how committed leaders can make a huge difference. I appreciated her taking a few minutes to let me know the impact I have had on her ultimate experience. Sometimes (often), I lose perspective on what I'm trying to do.
Five more days until the end of the Without Limits college season. What kind of difference can I make? What kind of difference can YOU make?
It's the little things.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Women's College Centex:: Organizer Perspective
Women's College Centex is just a few short days away. Skyd already has a preview up, but I wanted to post a few personal thoughts leading into the weekend.
This tournament is important to me for more reasons than I have the time to write about, but I'll try to summarize briefly here:
1. Competition-- This tournament brings together many of the top teams in North America to compete in the last big pre-Series tournament of the season. It has only developed this way because of the support of many friends, and we are cognizant of the big trip it is for many teams. In 2008, we were very fortunate to get huge buy-in from teams like Wisconsin, Michigan, UBC, Stanford, UCSB, Cal, etc. That parking lot meeting is something that continues to motivate me to this day, even though none of those players are playing in the college division anymore.
2. Community-- While we've striven to build an extremely competitive event, none of the organizers have lost sight of the fact that we want to build community with Centex. The Friday Night Mixer, BBQ, and Dance-Off are all staples of this tournament. We include them because we've seen incredible friendships built out of the interaction that happens at these "extras." It's worth the extra work.
3. Personal History-- I first attended this tournament in 2005 with the Cal women's team. It was a huge catalyst in our season that year, propelling us to a Quarterfinals finish at College Nationals. Melee also choreographed a dance for us that year. I will never forget Cara Crouch pouring Gatorade all over herself (thinking it was water) or the look of shock on the Melee players' parents' faces. Priceless. In 2006, my experience at Centex and the care of a few special Melee alums facilitated my decision to attend Texas for grad school. The snow on the ground when I visited Cornell and Columbia sealed the deal, but Centex has a lot of meaning to me on a personal level.
4. Catalyst-- I see Centex as an opportunity to get a few younger / less developed teams a chance to play with the big dogs. Every year in the fall, I look for a few teams I can help-- teams who are flying under people's radars and who might be struggling financially, but who are on the cusp of greatness. We invite them to Centex, and I make it my undercover mission to help them succeed in whatever way I can. After seeing what a world of difference opportunities have made for Wash U, I've re-committed myself to helping "random" teams. There doesn't have to be a "reason" to help-- if a team is working hard and wants to get to the next level, I want to make a difference for them. Centex is a wonderful catalyst for that.
5. Melee-- This tournament is extra special to me because I work with my old team to run it. This year is perhaps even more special because the lead coordinator was one of my college and club rookies when I captained Melee and Showdown respectively. It makes me proud to see someone I've invested so much into stepping up to take on a huge role that serves a lot of players and teams in the college ultimate community. The Melee girls put an incredible amount of work into this event, and their attention to detail shows. I also appreciate that they're always willing to facilitate my crazy ideas and to try new things. There is a high level of trust in our relationship, something I appreciate immensely.
We have a ton to do on the ground in the next two days, but we're incredibly excited to host so many of you in Austin. Travel safe, and we'll see many of you tomorrow night!
This tournament is important to me for more reasons than I have the time to write about, but I'll try to summarize briefly here:
1. Competition-- This tournament brings together many of the top teams in North America to compete in the last big pre-Series tournament of the season. It has only developed this way because of the support of many friends, and we are cognizant of the big trip it is for many teams. In 2008, we were very fortunate to get huge buy-in from teams like Wisconsin, Michigan, UBC, Stanford, UCSB, Cal, etc. That parking lot meeting is something that continues to motivate me to this day, even though none of those players are playing in the college division anymore.
2. Community-- While we've striven to build an extremely competitive event, none of the organizers have lost sight of the fact that we want to build community with Centex. The Friday Night Mixer, BBQ, and Dance-Off are all staples of this tournament. We include them because we've seen incredible friendships built out of the interaction that happens at these "extras." It's worth the extra work.
3. Personal History-- I first attended this tournament in 2005 with the Cal women's team. It was a huge catalyst in our season that year, propelling us to a Quarterfinals finish at College Nationals. Melee also choreographed a dance for us that year. I will never forget Cara Crouch pouring Gatorade all over herself (thinking it was water) or the look of shock on the Melee players' parents' faces. Priceless. In 2006, my experience at Centex and the care of a few special Melee alums facilitated my decision to attend Texas for grad school. The snow on the ground when I visited Cornell and Columbia sealed the deal, but Centex has a lot of meaning to me on a personal level.
4. Catalyst-- I see Centex as an opportunity to get a few younger / less developed teams a chance to play with the big dogs. Every year in the fall, I look for a few teams I can help-- teams who are flying under people's radars and who might be struggling financially, but who are on the cusp of greatness. We invite them to Centex, and I make it my undercover mission to help them succeed in whatever way I can. After seeing what a world of difference opportunities have made for Wash U, I've re-committed myself to helping "random" teams. There doesn't have to be a "reason" to help-- if a team is working hard and wants to get to the next level, I want to make a difference for them. Centex is a wonderful catalyst for that.
5. Melee-- This tournament is extra special to me because I work with my old team to run it. This year is perhaps even more special because the lead coordinator was one of my college and club rookies when I captained Melee and Showdown respectively. It makes me proud to see someone I've invested so much into stepping up to take on a huge role that serves a lot of players and teams in the college ultimate community. The Melee girls put an incredible amount of work into this event, and their attention to detail shows. I also appreciate that they're always willing to facilitate my crazy ideas and to try new things. There is a high level of trust in our relationship, something I appreciate immensely.
We have a ton to do on the ground in the next two days, but we're incredibly excited to host so many of you in Austin. Travel safe, and we'll see many of you tomorrow night!
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